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molotov_quaker [userpic]

Incoming!

February 29th, 2008 (01:22 pm)

Today's words of wisdom come to us courtesy of Mary Mostert, author, commentator, and general failure at life.  Today, she is going to give us an in-depth explanation of how the constitution works and provide details on how electing Obama to the White House would legitimize what he has been trying to do unconstitutionally-- namely, end preznit Bush's Best War Evar!(tm).  Let's have a gander.


Will military veterans support Obama's "retreat and declare defeat" strategy



Mary Mostert
February 28, 2008

I've got to say, I do love the quotation marks around "retreat and declare defeat."  Almost as if she were quoting verbatim from Karl Rove's fax machine.  You know, I hate to break it to you, but (unsurprisingly), that slogan doesn't even have a good ring to it.  Retreat and declare defeat?  Waaayyy too many syllables in between the rhymes.  Were I a Republican operative (which is in and of itself ludicrous...I do have a sense of shame after all), I might venture to suggest the:

Retreat out with your meat out strategy (Larry Craig only)
Run out with your gun out strategy
Cut and slut program
Cry and die plan.

You see?  It ain't hard here, peeps. 

As things now stand, it appears that Barack Obama, if nominated by the Democrats and elected in November, may very well become the commander in chief of America's military force.

Which is kind of like saying "if Prince Charles' mother were to die and he were to succeed her in the line of succession, he may very well become the next king of England."  Sure, it sounds retarded to most of it, but you have to understand that for this particular audience, shit needs to be dumbed down.  Like...way down.

As commander in chief he actually would have the Constitutional authority, under existing legislation passed by previous, but recent congresses to implement the policies to do what he has unconstitutionally tried to force President Bush to do — pull out of the war on terror.

Because in this topsy-turvy world in which the President is Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces and does not in fact have the authority to declare war or activate the military himself, congress' attempts to deescalate a conflict which it had itself authorized 5 years previously represent the hight of logical contradiction, second only in preposterousness as birds who do not fly and chocolate-flavored Chex Mix. 

molotov_quaker [userpic]

Nada

February 22nd, 2008 (03:27 pm)

Today's selection of potential victims of my wrath proved to be depressingly unsuitable.  After all, once you get to the point where you actually have commentators complaining that George W. Bush is a failure because he isn't conservative enough or that he is actually an unfettered liberal, words and senses fail.  Then again, these are also the same sort of people who maintain that Christians are an oppressed minority in the United States (despite having about 80% of the population in their camp) and who have no problem with the United States government listening on their phone calls without a warrant and torturing people- provided they get to keep their guns.  After a while, the ability to keep the parody ahead of the actual words and deeds of these people begins to suffer, and you ultimately end up in a situation in which anything you can say about them just isn't funny anymore, because odds are, it's probably true. 

Fortunately, if there is still one area in which conservatives remain refreshingly humerous, it's in their rather ham-handed attempts at what might be considered "humor."  You see, there is a reason why all the great comedians have been liberals and not conservatives.  In order to be funny you must first be able to laugh at yourself.  You must have a willingness to push the envelope, strike the balance between edgy and tacky, and most of all-- and this is key-- be able to withstand ridicule yourself.  You must be able to think freely and outside the box, unconfined by a particular adherence to a message or afraid to stray from a party line.  Liberals have no problem doing that.  Conservatives?  eh..not so much.

I'll post more later.

molotov_quaker [userpic]

We're Fucking Done.

February 4th, 2008 (05:00 pm)

Considering the crap I had to put up with this weekend, I am in a foul mood.

Normally I'd find another way to let out the steam, but as I can't actually take a couple of right wing fundamentalists out behind the hedge and beat them to death with a six-foot gaffing iron, I suppose my usual ranting will have to suffice. Although it involves a lot less blood, it is actually legal, and saves me the trouble of buying tickets to the annual Conservative Political Action Conference and Slander Bazaar so that I can make fart sounds and masterbatory gestures every time some fish-bellied reactionary gets up on stage to croak on and on about the oppressed minority that is conservativism and evangelical Christianity in the U.S. today.

Although I am not about to leave the confort of my chair, dear friends, I can assure you that there will be blood. Oh yes indeed.


Wanted: pro-life integrity

Judie Brown
February 1, 2008

For more than 35 years, pro-lifers have struggled to choose the best tactics and strategies while hoping to reach a point in America's history where abortion would become anathema to the public as well as lawmakers and judges. In the ongoing quest to focus on a project or proposal that might facilitate this goal, it would seem that many have lost their way.

Because like any good reactionary group, while it certainly would be nice to hope and pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that one day he will touch all with his noodly appendage and convince the masses of the wrongness of abortion, in the meantime that's really only secondary in importance to getting the procedure banned in the first place. Because God doesn't give a shit what the polls say.


Pro-life efforts commence from the simple truth, revealed to one and all in basic biology, that each human being begins his or her life at fertilization.

Because apparently according to large segments of the American population, basic biology has pretty much been frozen in time around the same calendar date at which it was discovered that the Earth revolves around the sun. In other words, as soon as we stopped using the Bible as our primary fucking textbook for all things scientific.


molotov_quaker [userpic]

Cherry gets popped

January 28th, 2008 (05:09 pm)

Because, in the words of Dope, the pre-eminent scholars of all discourses of note regarding the body politick:

"I'm back to put it in motion
I'm back to tell you no lies
Sit back and sip on this notion
I'm back to put it in drive"

Today's resident scholar of note and caboose on the grazy train known as Alan Keyes' Crack Den Renew America is none other than Ronald R. Cherry, a "board-certified specialist in lung disease who is in the full-time practice of medicine in Sweetwater, Tennessee." 

Faced with such intellectual titans, it remains a mystery as to why liberalism remains a viable political orientation, and not a shriveled 11 year old writhing under the final stages of advanced consumption.

Let's take a look.

Judeo-Christian values


Ronald R. Cherry
January 28, 2008

Judeo-Christian values in America have a basis in the Declaration of Independence: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness..."

Hmm...you know what, that's a good start, but I'm not entirely sure that a passing reference to a non-specific deity in a legally non-binding document really does a good job of carrying your point forward there, Ron.  Let's try that again.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Christian men are created equal under God, that they are endowed by their Creator Jesus Christ with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, the libery to to follow Biblical precepts within an acceptable spread, and the pursuit of happiness, so long as that happiness stays well within the bounds of marriage and for procrative purposes only....

Sure, that's not what they wrote.  But if there's anything we learned from the Donation of Constantine, just because they didn't write it doesn't mean they wouldn't have if they had known we would be having these debates further down the road, so paraphrasing what they WOULD have said is perfectly acceptable.

molotov_quaker [userpic]

Happy Holidays!

January 5th, 2008 (05:35 pm)

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Long time no post. Blame it on the fact that I'm currently freezing my ass off somewhere and writing something represents an unnecessary expenditure of energy.  Nevertheless, i am back (at least for the time being) and as such shall once again bravely attempt to resume my duties with the enthusiasm and gusto of a local constable attempting to reign in a runaway manure wagon as it careens downhill towards a busload of orphans.  

Today's post is courtesy of the one, the only, the incomparable Bonnie Alba who like most good conservativrs is going to try to blames Something Bad on the liberal fascism oppressing our fair Republic.  Specifically, in this case, toasters that don't toast and ill-fitting jeans.  Let's give a listen, shall we?

Levi's and toasters -- change not always better



Bonnie Alba
January 3, 2008

Levi Strauss — who doesn't recognize the royal brand name of denim jeans?

Except of course for students of anthropology who recognize him as the person primarily responsibe for the concept of structuralism in developing theories to explain basic elements of societal organization.  Good luck explaining that with copper rivets and 1.75 yards@ 60 inches of blue denim per pair.

Millions of men have depended on Levi's for generations. In the past, Levi Strauss meant quality.

And, apparently, a steadfast and firm belief that the legs of women belong in one place and one place only: safely hidden under 50 acres of skirt material stretched over a galvanized steel frame.

When anyone purchased a pair of Levis, they knew that when they got them home — they would fit. Not in this century.

Because as we all know, in the 1890s, clothing sizes were firmly and thoroughly standardized through and through, and no one ever exceeded the manufacturer's specifications on their bodies by more than half a centimeter or so. Exchanges and refunds are totally modern inventions.

All my husband wanted for Christmas was some Levis. Being the wife who wants to make my hubby happy, I bought two pair, wrapped them and put them under the tree.


All I want for Christmas is a good pair of pants.  It doesn't exactly measure up to Alvin's dream of two front teeth, although it does offer a tantalizing glimpse at what simple pleasures are afforded retards this holiday season.

He was happy as a lark to receive size 32-30.

Huh.  I didn't know Levis made jeans for the short and dumpy.  Must be their new spring line.

Alas, when he tried them on, one pair was too long, one too short and neither fit right. Both pairs were made in different countries — Haiti and Dominican Republic.

Which is kind of like saying that the jeans were made in two different states of the U.S.: North Dakota and South Dakota.  Lo!  Does today's lack of concern with quality control leave no corner of the globe untouch'd??

We took them back to the store to exchange them. Searching through the stack for his size, we found three pairs of 32-30 Levi's. We were surprised to find they were Made in Lesotho; Mexico; and Bangladesh.

That IS surprising. Most of those countries are better known for other exports.  Specifically, immigrants.

None matched any of the others in their posted size. Five different countries total. Only one pair, Made in Mexico, would fit, not perfectly, but okay.

Bonnie, out of simple curiosity, did you and your husband take his measurements before, after, or during the week-long gorging session known as the post-holiday season?  Might explain a thing or two.  Either that, or he was suffering from one of those 24-hour erections Viagra manufacturers are always warning people about.

Of course, the additional matter of "not being the same denim or material as of old" is also frustrating as they don't wear well.


Well short of digging up a gold-rush era prospector's tent and hacking it up to feed your husband's ravenous appetite for historical accuracy and "vintage" fashions, I sincerely doubt that ANYTHING is going to be made of the "same material of old," as we now know that DDT is toxic, bears are endangered, and the U.S. has fifty states.

A younger man was there also looking for his size to exchange the ones he received for Christmas. (another wife making her hubby happy). His last comment to us was "I'm more than willing to pay more for Levi's like they used to make." Ditto! Are you listening LEVI?


Bonnie, considering the fact that there are now at least TWO husbands who find themselves in the men's section of the J.C. Penny's store the day after Christmas exchanging gifts their wives bought for them, I would be extremely reluctant to claim that EITHER of these men's wives was doing a particularly good job.  But what do I know?  Perhaps the men in Bonnie's village have been bred to have particularly low expectations.

American consumers have too much variety; Not enough quality! The reality is that while shopping for anything these days, from clothing to appliances to cars, we have to be extra careful. There are more lemons in every bunch.


Oh!  To live in the halcyon days of yesteryear!  When men were men, women were slaves, jeans were superior, and lemons nonexistent.  Unless of course, you got a bad batch of pig snout in that ballpark hotdog.

Speaking of appliances, we received a Sunbeam toaster as a gift at our 1963 wedding. In 2004, this old friend still worked but was temperamental. Like we humans whose body parts run down over life spans, our toaster friend was moody in its old age, sometimes working, sometimes not. We decided to give it a decent burial and buy a new one.

If Bonnie Alba's idea of a "decent burial" is wrapping something in cellophane and throwing it into the dumpster of the corner along with the neighbor's fish guts, I'd hate to see what kind of treatment she expects to receive when her children discover she only signed up for the "economy package" at the local funeral home.

The new toaster has been slow to toast from its first use. We're putting up with it for now. Where was it made? You guess.

East Germany!  Listen lady, there are hundreds of countries in this world, I don't see why I should be confined to only choosing ones that are still recognized.

American consumers are having a difficult time, not only choosing among the large variety of same-item products, but also finding long-lasting, quality products. And just try to find "Made in America" products.

Um...Google: "Made+in+America"

The Blame Game: Who?

ALL of us. Citizens, corporations & manufacturers, Unions and Big Government. All of us are to blame. We have allowed this deterioration of our nation's manufacturing infrastructure to the detriment of our future as a strong "we can do it" nation with American Work Ethics.


However, for the sake of expediency, I'm just going to focus on the people who are really responsible, unions and liberals.  Need I say more?

Asking the questions: Is it possible that:

The unions became too arrogant in their demands for workers; way beyond what companies and corporations were obligated to provide? Increasing demands by unions and workers placed manufacturers in a no-win situation.


If you assume that a 40 hour work-week, minimum wage, 2-day weekend, and basic health insurance is "way beyond what companies were obligated to provide," then I guess you're right.  But hey, I always had sort of suspicion that the so-called "American Dream" wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Our "ever-increasing in power" federal government over-regulated and overtaxed businesses; beginning with overdoing the "safety" issue? Or, that when the big corporation lobbyists got solidly entrenched in Congress, they also traded tit for tat, but ended up being outwitted by Big Government? Making it all but impossible to make a decent profit in America?

In other words, once companies were held accountable for compensating the consumers whose lives their shitty products ruined, the workers whose bodies the company's hazardous machinery maimed, and the citizens who's environment their shitty factories polluted, the poor corporations were forced to seek asylum in countries who better understood the American way of doing business.  Like China.

Hit from both sides — Big Government and Unions — Capitalism ceased to be what it should be? At the least, have we all flown the coop and joined the Once-True Americans — Now Globalists?


In other words, capitalism as it once existed in this country during the dark days of the progressive era and the new deal ceased to be true to its original intent: the destruction of the environment, slave wages, and tainted meat in the pursuit of the noblest goal of all: making money.

Citizen-consumer-workers overreached with their demands for safety, higher wages, shorter work hours — all to achieve a comfortable house with a 2-car garage in suburbia?


Like I said.  I always thought the American dream of hard work, persistence, and playing by the rules in order to achieve a comfortable middle-class existence was somewhat fishy sounding.  But hey at least its good to see a conservative actually admit it: some people are just meant to spend their lives living in rags in a pubic park,  employment status notwithstanding.

The sad result is that younger citizens will no longer recognize quality or value because of All of us acquiescing to the changes in American capitalism.

Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what will be running through the minds of all those 20-somethings waiting for a chance to get a few hours' pay working as day laborers down at the docks because all the jobs have gone overseas: "god damn, but the upper classes' appliances sure do suck nowadays."

Americans are looked upon as consumers who consume anything and everything, no matter where it was manufactured. Yet we have lost something in the process — we can't produce a pair of Levis nor even a toaster.

If only American workers could wake up and realize that they have been way too demanding.  In this day and age, spending 60 hours a week chained to a sewing machine for 50 cents an hour is as good as it gets.

So much for self-sustaining America.

My husband, a Levi customer for over 50 years, is disgusted. He's looking at all the other brands to find any which might take Levi's place in consistent sizes and quality.


Yeah well, unless the U.S. plans on annexing Mexico and Bangladesh, good luck.

Or maybe, just maybe, the problem doesn't have anything to do with a lack of U.S. skill and resolve at all.  Maybe it's because people like Bonnie Alba and her husband and all the other fucking corporate enablers in this country realized that in the post-industrialiation model of the 1960s, it was possible to simply ignore the progress made over the previous 40 years by going overseas to places in which human manure is still used to fertilizer and unions are illegal.  And that in some corners of the world, simply giving someone a bowl of rice at the end of the day was withholding a beating constituted acceptable worker-management relations, and that for a 50-dollar bill and a bottle of Bailey's, all those pesky fire safety inspections would just magically go away.  I guess I just never figured that people like Alba would then be so stupid as to blame the poor quality of today's products on the American worker's unwillingness to work in a tin shack in which the fire doors are chained shut.



See this photo?  It's from the 1911 Triangle Factory Fire.  Over 140 young women, most of them immigrants, burned to death or jumped out of windows to avoid being incinerated because some stupid fucking asshole like Alba decided that having an escape route was too expensive and more than the company really owed them.  And here we are, 97 years later, and the only thing people like Alba and her ilk can think to do is blame the women above and their successors for being too demanding, and their modern overseas counterparts for not making jeans large enough to fit her husband's fat ass.  Great fucking show, Bonnie.  Great fucking show.

molotov_quaker [userpic]

Cuidado!

December 6th, 2007 (03:43 pm)

Today's steaming pile of horse shit column is from BTP regular Michael M. Bates.  Five bucks says the "M" doesn't stand for "Marshall."

Take it away!

This is America, speak Spanish



Michael M. Bates
December 6, 2007

I find it annoying to call a telephone number and have to press 1 to proceed in English.


Considering the fact that Michael Bates looks like the kid of crotchety old coot who insists on getting a rain check when the local CVS runs out of his favorite brand of razor blades after they run a 10-cent off coupon, I'll go out on a limb here and say that I sincerely doubt this is the only thing in this world which he finds annoying.

molotov_quaker [userpic]

Why do I bother?

December 3rd, 2007 (01:44 pm)

Sorry for the lack of time between updates, but I have been too busy stuffing my belly with turkey, my gullet with beer, my heart with holiday cheer, and my brain with...schoolwork.  Ah well.

Never fear, my calendar-watching friends, for today's column is by Bonnie Alba who, like any good, civic-minded member of our great society has decided to tackle the important issue of hate crimes.  And just in case you think that means she's suddenly grown a soul and decided that people other than White Anglo-Saxon/Teutonic American Christian Conservatives are people too, just relax.  She's talking about the recent rash of pine forest burnings which have been ravaging the heartland of late, undoubtably the work of anti-Christmas Tree extremists bent on intimidating our needle-beridden brothers and sisters and wiping conifers out down to the very last sapling.

Or something.  Bonnie, take it away!

Battling hate crimes against Christmas


Bonnie Alba
November 30, 2007

Speaking of which, is it really possible to comitt a hate crime against an abstract concept like "Christmas"?  I mean, next thing you know, we'll be suing the Chinese for their malicious words with regards to time zones

Those few U.S. citizens who can't stand the thought or public expression of "Merry Christmas" or any other symbol of Christmas are taking up the annual banner of their War against "the reason for the season."

You know.  Like Jews.  Heartless atheists to a man, those rabbis.

 

molotov_quaker [userpic]

Woo!

November 23rd, 2007 (03:57 pm)

Today's column is by Paul Weyrich, a semi-regular here at BTP. Now normally, I would take the time to do this take-down in a thorough, thought-provoking and analyitical fashion. However, since I beat Gears of War last night on the Xbox 360 and survived the post-celebratory hijinks with only a minimal amount of hangover-ness, my celebratory cheer will extend to this post as well. Therefore please sit back, relax, put your feet up, and tune in as I destroy this miserable waste of bandwidth with all the subtlety of a a pack of rabid gorillas moving through a warehouse full of bananas. Enjoy!


Federal government housing for Americans -- a Communist precedent



Paul Weyrich
November 8, 2007

Woo! Yeah, bring it on, Sucka! This my kinda shit!

Have you ever been to a Communist or former Communist country?

Well, considering the fact that both Paul Weyrich and his audience are the sort of people who consider free public education and medicaid communistic in nature, I suspect the answer is yes, as I have actually traveled outside the United States. However, if he is referring to an actual, real, live country in which communism is still practiced as well as extolled, then the answer is no. Because I live in America, the freest nation on earth, I'm so free that the government has decided I'm not allowed to go there (Cuba).

If so I am sure you have seen street after street of government-funded housing. Usually this consists of numerous drab apartment buildings crammed together with tiny apartments inside. But at least everyone is "equal" and has housing, right?



Or in the words of Michael Moore: "this is what a slum looks like, in Canada."

Historically, Americans have been averse to reliance upon governmental munificence, preferring instead to keep their hard-earned money and buy or build a house or apartment that suited their lifestyle and their needs.

Their lifestyle and their needs, in this case, being the near-condemned rat traps and fire cans in which you could cram 15 or 20 Italian immigrants for a couple hundred dollars a week. But hey, that's all part of America's glorious ownership-based society
. And it's not like we do that any more, right


How times have changed[...] The bill would allocate up to $1 billion per year to construct or repair 1.5 million low-income housing units in the next ten years. This is in addition to all of the low-income housing the Federal Government already provides.

I agree. The money we spend on repairing low-income housing in which the working poor live would be much better spent on another tax break for the top 1%, thus allowing the rich to further profit from whatever unique skillset it was which brought them wealth and power, while at the same time encouraging the individualism of the American spirit in the poor by forcing those with the most gumption to fight their way to the very best bridges, overpasses, park bencehs, and hot air vents.

The truth is that nothing is free. Someone must pay for this and other government entitlement programs. Usually the burden falls upon the middle class in the form of higher taxes.

If by "middle class" you define everyone making over $300,000 a year, then yes.

Or in the words of Blackadder:

Baldric: My lord, I've been in your service since I was two and a half!

Blackadder: Then that must be why I'm so utterly bored at the sight of you.

Baldric: But...I've got no place to go, my lord...

Blackadder: Oh, Baldric, come now.  Surely you'll be allowed to starve to death in one of the royal parks.

In spite of the enthusiastic, feel-good rhetoric, the purpose of H.R. 2895 is similar to that of so much other legislation that creates or expands entitlement programs. It produces a group of people beholden to the generosity of the Federal Government for their daily needs.

Whereas whenever Paul Weyrich's house catches fire, he grabs a bucket and heads to the local well, indignantly turning down the local fire department's offers to help.

Well that's all we have time for this week.  See you next time!

molotov_quaker [userpic]

Knock-knock-knocking on the restroom door...

August 28th, 2007 (11:39 am)

Well at least now we know how the Singing Senators' lead vocalist keeps his vocal chords in tip-top shape:

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men’s public restroom, according to an arrest report obtained by Roll Call Monday afternoon.

Craig’s arrest occurred just after noon on June 11 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. On Aug. 8, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in the Hennepin County District Court. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He also was given one year of probation with the court that began on Aug. 8[...]

In October 2006, Craig’s office publicly denied allegations that he was a homosexual made on a gay activist Web site — blogactive.com. Craig’s office told the Spokane Spokesman-Review that the charge was “completely ridiculous,” saying that the allegations had “no basis in fact.”

This is getting ridiculous.  In any case, there is a helpful lineup of people you may encounter frequenting Washington DC-area public restrooms, looking for someone in need of 20 bucks.

Bob Allen: Will actually GIVE you $20 in exchange for you letting him choke down on the giggle pole.  Though the $20 might just be for menacing-looking black guys/undercover police officer.

Mark Foley: The bad news?  He's an online predator.  The good news?  He's only interested in your kids.

Ted Haggard: Despite Voltaire's long-standing criticisms of the clergy and organized religion, Haggard remains one of the few who can actually make meth-addicted gay prostitutes look good in comparison.

Ralph Gonzalez:
In his defense, this guy was a GOP consultant.  It's unfair to punish people for only doing what comes naturally.

Glen Murphy: To his credit, he at least had the decency to have his sexual scandal go down BEFORE people knew who the fuck he was.

David Vitter:  At least he got his sex the right way.  He paid for it (laissez-faire deez nuts, biotch!)

Randall L. Tobias:
  He WASN'T having protected sex with a prostitute!  We was only trying to prove that abstinence-only education works!

And many, many more!

molotov_quaker [userpic]

Rainy Day Blues...

August 16th, 2007 (11:41 am)

Today we have a piece from Joseph Farah, owner of the online  magazine "World Net Daily" and legendary crank.  Take it away, Joe!

I had one of those "Stop the Presses!" moments this week.

That's when I read something in the so-called "mainstream" press that blows even my mind – someone who was a denizen of that institution for 20 years.

The specific "mainstream press institution" of course being the inmate-run printer's shop at the State Lunatic Hospital in Danvers.  You can see the results of those 20-odd years in the words below.

I thought I had seen it all – from the inside and out.

As a former editor in chief of daily newspapers, I have an exquisitely refined sense of propriety.

This coming from a guy who's web-zine features advertisements for drilling for oil in Israel, the Swiss America Trading Corporation (Let Uncle Sam Help You Own Gold!!), and has Chuck Norris as an opinion columnist. 

Yeah, pull my other leg.  That one has bells on it.

I frequently served as a highly paid expert witness on newspaper standards and practices. My job often entailed cutting out biased copy from stories before they ever saw the light of day.

This coming from a guy whose single greatest interest in life is acting as a "traiblazer for anti-liberal establishment" and focusing on whether or not Bill Clinton had Vince Foster whacked.  That also probably explains why you've pretty much failed at every newspaper venture you've ever tried your hand at, except for the ones which daddy Richard Mellon Scaife cut you six-figure checks for.

Evidently, that's not the way it works in the "mainstream" news business any more – at least not at Newsweek (or is it Newsweak?).

To which they responded: "while we may, as Mr. Farah's column title suggests, blow hot and cold on this issue, he just blows." 

Joe, care to respond?

Did you happen to catch this week's amazing cover story?

Don't bother to buy it at the newsstand.  you can read it (for laughs) online.  The gist of it is that a "denial machine," bought and paid for by big industry, is preventing critical government action to stop global warming."


What a bunch of hogwash!  Where on earth did they ever come up with such a ludicrous and preposterous notion?  Oh, rightYeah, I'd  forgotten about that.

Huh.  I never realized Texaco and Exxon-Mobil were so active in the charity arena.

One thing I've noticed about socialists and tyrants and those who do their bidding is that they always accuse others of doing what they do.

Therefore, I would like to postulate that Myself:Rubber::Socialo-tyrants:Glue

Here's a good example. Government and corporations have spent about $50 billion in the last 10 years promoting the hysterical notion that catastrophic, manmade global warming is going to destroy the planet unless we provide Al Gore and his friends with all the power they need to stop it.

On the other hand, real scientists who are even remotely skeptical about these claims are denied positions in academia and grants. By comparison, the climate-change skeptics have spent less than $20 million in those 10 years, according to some estimates.

My source?  Oh sure, I'd love to give you my source.  But apparently neither the Chicago Manual of Style, the MLA Manual of  Style, nor Turabian specify how I'm supposed to cite figures I pull out of my ass.  Whatever.  They're probably all liberal fags anyway.

Ah well, that's enough for fun.  Until next time!